Why I live with this historian

• Marri: Don't cry at work. Cry in front of your advisor's office for variety!
• Meehow: It's just shitty as f*ck. I don't want to live with my parents, clutching my Master's degree in my sleep.
• Marri: I will live on my friends' couches and use my MA as a napkin.
• Meehow: LMAO

Sunday night

• Friend: Wassup?
• Meehow: I'm all showered and moisturized, watching True Blood and wishing for another weekend. I also have a wrist injury... You?
• Meehow: Marri says that text makes it sound like I've been masturbating all day, which I can assure you is not the case.

• Grandma: That guy was staring at you!
• Me: He was? Okay.
• Grandma: He wouldn't take his eyes off you!
• Me: I dress well.
• Grandma: No, he wanted to eat you up.
• Me: Okay, Grams... moving on.
• Grandma: You're my grandson. You inherited hotness from me. Own it!
• Me: [laughing so hard, I was about to pee]

• Me: I'm naked.
• Marri: This is a "come as you are" party.

• Me: Twitter is out of control
• Marri: You're out of control
• Marri: P.S. Whoever ends up breaking the sex noise silence gets a cake
• Marri: With big icing winking face

On Spring

• Meehow: I think spring is going to my head.
• Marri: Are you feeling frisky?
• Meehow: Hahah. Yeah. FRISKY.
• Marri: I envision you skipping up the mountain.

Random text

• Marri: Hey sexy bitch~
• Me: Bahaha, are you drunk before noon?
• Marri: God, no!
• Me: Did you get arrested and need bail?
• Marri: No ;)
• Me: I'm out of guesses, but maybe you wanna come hold my hand while they thread my eyebrows.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

• Aussi: Hello, my sweet transvestite from Montreal. Don't forget to come over for le movie (RHPS)
• Me: I hope this was a mass text..
• Aussi: Nope. Just for you!