Why I live with this historian
- Marri: Don't cry at work. Cry in front of your advisor's office for variety!
- Meehow: It's just shitty as f*ck. I don't want to live with my parents, clutching my Master's degree in my sleep.
- Marri: I will live on my friends' couches and use my MA as a napkin.
- Meehow: LMAO
- Friend: Wassup?
- Meehow: I'm all showered and moisturized, watching True Blood and wishing for another weekend. I also have a wrist injury... You?
- Meehow: Marri says that text makes it sound like I've been masturbating all day, which I can assure you is not the case.
- Grandma: That guy was staring at you!
- Me: He was? Okay.
- Grandma: He wouldn't take his eyes off you!
- Me: I dress well.
- Grandma: No, he wanted to eat you up.
- Me: Okay, Grams... moving on.
- Grandma: You're my grandson. You inherited hotness from me. Own it!
- Me: [laughing so hard, I was about to pee]
- Me: Twitter is out of control
- Marri: You're out of control
- Marri: P.S. Whoever ends up breaking the sex noise silence gets a cake
- Marri: With big icing winking face
- Meehow: I think spring is going to my head.
- Marri: Are you feeling frisky?
- Meehow: Hahah. Yeah. FRISKY.
- Marri: I envision you skipping up the mountain.
- Marri: Hey sexy bitch~
- Me: Bahaha, are you drunk before noon?
- Marri: God, no!
- Me: Did you get arrested and need bail?
- Marri: No ;)
- Me: I'm out of guesses, but maybe you wanna come hold my hand while they thread my eyebrows.
Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Aussi: Hello, my sweet transvestite from Montreal. Don't forget to come over for le movie (RHPS)
- Me: I hope this was a mass text..
- Aussi: Nope. Just for you!
my mom: I find it hard to believe that you really need that much money